Let's meet the Grillers!!

It's taken me this long to notice that there are nine courageous participants in our baseball league, just like a baseball team. Is that providence or what? Ah, it's probably just a bizarre coincidence owing to the fact that I don't know ten people (and I have five siblings).

Anyway, since I'm the only one that has actually met everyone in the TGBL, and we have the right number of dudes, it's seems that we should have a proper introduction. So . . .  (*Roy Steele voice*) "Here is the Mancave Catering Starting Lineup for Your! Tadich! GRILLERS!!"

Leading off, and playing Center Field: Chris Springmeyer, aka The Pride Of Lathrop. Former WACK czar, current Livermore Lab Rat, unapologetic Tar Heel/Scott Brooks fan (Go Lancers!). Solid Twitter feed.  A gifted athlete, he's probably the only one in this group that could run down a fly ball without asking for a six-pack of beer, a folding chair and/or a bus pass. Favorite team: Brewers. Athletics Nation Score (a 1-10 scale of how big an A's fan one is, and, subsequently, relative chances of going to Heaven): 7.5 - an enthusiastic supporter, at least when I'm in earshot. Recognize the stadium in his pic? Player he's most likely to draft way too soon: Ryan Braun and his mishandled urine sample.

Batting second, and playing Right Field: Nick Swisher Ammon Torrence. (Judges say: Still funny!) Living in Berkeley by way of Cambridge, England, he's the father of my only biological grand-niece, who shall inherit the vast Peterson fortune (total value: $8.35 pre-tax). His incredibly authentic and serious biography (Facebook page) says he's a Tantric bicyclist. Well then! Fellow Charlton Athletic fan and train-chaser. Favorite team: Cardinals. What have they done lately? AN Score: 8.0 - anything less and he's sleeping on the couch.  Player he's most likely to draft way too soon: Ryan Freese. (Enjoy the BBC Radio call, Ammon.)

Batting third, and playing Third Base: Don Marshall. Customer Service Director, Angels Food Market. Cow Caller. Self-appointed Mayor of Purdyville, Purple & Yellow Toad #1. Now calls Vallecito home. In June of 1980, Marshall gave up the first (and last) career Senior Little League hit to a chubby left-handed kid, a ringing single up the middle, in the midst of a 26-2 Winkler's Village Market victory over Tyrrell's Clothiers. Coordinator and participant of numerous spring training trips to Scottsdale, not including this place. Or this one. But definitely this one. Then we all got married. Crap! Favorite team: self-styled 'Biggest Damn Giants Fan Around'.  AN Score: 4.7 - because, you know, GiantsGiantsGiantsGiantsGiants. Player he's most likely to draft way too soon: Buster Posey. Heads up, kid.

Batting cleanup, and playing First Base: Eric Peterson. Tadministrator's brother, Webmaster, Netminder, and Expert Exchanger.  Past, present and future Mokelumne Hill resident, or a true Mo-Killer, if you prefer. Prefers basketball to baseball. In point of fact, he probably prefers the Grateful Dead, Drambuie, Microsoft Access 97, Camel Filters and maybe even root canals to baseball. Occasionally mistaken for a heart surgeon wrongfully accused. You find that one-armed man! AN Score: 3.5 - indifferent. Favorite team: Golden State Warriors. Oh, you mean baseball? It used to be the Giants, but seems to be leaning toward the Royals these days. Player he's most likely to draft way too soon: Stephen Curry Eric Hosmer.

Batting fifth, and playing Shortstop: Patrick Jirka. USMC, retired. Mayor of Jirkaville, a small, small community at Camp Pendleton that doubles as vacation land for the occasional desert-bound baseball fan. President, Executive Chef and Lead Driver, Mancave Catering. (Call now for investment opportunities.) Purple & Yellow Toad #2. Apprentice Cow Caller and Genie Wrangler. Charter member of the Fat Jedi. Former free-lance sports writer, Calaveras Californian. Assigned baseball position is less indicative of his skills than of his physical stature, but most importantly, a better friend than the Tadministrator deserves. Favorite team: Giants. AN Score: 8.8 - all about the A's if the Giants aren't playing. Player he's most likely to draft way too soon: Fat Panda.

Batting sixth, and Catching: Gary Peattie. Publisher of real, actual books with covers, pages and everything. Resides in Camarillo, where the days are longer and the nights are stronger than moonshine. He's catching because, as a season-ticket holder, he has spent more time behind the plate at Dodgeer Stadium than Steve Yeager. Spiritual thinker, owed much karma after enduring the Frank McCourt Era. Knows some guys that sing in Roger Waters' band, which is incredibly cool. Favorite team: Take a guess. AN score: 2.8 - a clever but merciless Email teaser. After the Manny Ramirez signing I swear I heard him giggling over the internet. Plus, this. Gahh!! Player he's most likely to draft too soon: Andre Ethier. (It's never too soon to take Matt Kemp, right?)

Batting seventh, and playing Left Field: Henk Vanden Hengel. Top-shelf office mate. Outstanding golfer. Fluent in Freaky Deaky Dutch. Single Fassia. Lives in Las Vegas. Penn State grad, but never met Jerry Sandusky and if you don't believe it, too bad, because you can't prove it. Master of the five-team teaser. Preparing for 100-mile bicycle ride around Las Vegas, during which he will attempt to bum cigarettes off the other riders. Zijn baas is dom en lui en moeten sterven in een brand.  Favorite team: Phillies. AN score: 2.0, moves up to 6.0 if he bets them. Player he's most likely to draft way too soon: Chase Utley and his chronic knee problems.

Batting eighth, and playing Second Base: Gabriel Moraga. Lives in Las Vegas, originally from El Paso. Paralegal for a small law firm with two female lawyers, and his wife is expecting, so he instantly qualifies to be #18 in The Most Patient Person On Earth standings, just behind Mister Rogers. I don't  know much about him but he's a good guy. Did you know Gabriel Moraga was the name of the Spanish explorer that found the area that is now Calaveras County? Favorite team: White Sox. AN Score: Not sure, but it can't be higher than 3.0. He's more of an NFL guy. Player he's most likely to draft way too soon:  Paul Konerko. Did you know he was traded for Mike Cameron?

Batting ninth, and Pitching: Your Tadministator. This is the most recent image available for this typically camera-shy TGBL Czar For Life and all-around good Samaritan. Misunderstood genius, renaissance man, legendary musician, masseuse to the supermodels, Billy Beane's right-hand man . . . .

Oh, all right. Batting ninth, and pitching: Ed Peterson.  The guy that dragged you into this mess. Living in Las Vegas. Calaveras County exile. Full-time database geek, part-time Tadministrator and recreational beer taster. Met Billy Beane once. Was there when Jeremy didn't slide. Little brother to many, uncle to few. Married to a divorce lawyer. Basset hound rescuer. Proudest accomplishment: putting 10,000 songs on one IPod. Once got a $100 tip from Ice-T. Still waiting for the A's to get a decent stadium somewhere. Favorite team: put it this way . . . AN score: it goes to 11. Player he's most likely to draft way too soon: The Showcase.



There you have it! Your starting lineup! Good buncha guys, IMHO. By the way, this lineup is not the draft order. The draft order will be determined by a lottery, which will be held soon, videotaped for posterity and posted in this space, so check back here and rack me up some page views.